Not Married with Children
"All I ever wanted to do was spend my life loving you, you disgusting sack of shit."
"If that's all you wanted, then why did you hire the sleaziest lawyer in town, you pathologically deluded, morally bankrupt, in-denial, self-esteem-deficient bitch on wheels?"
"I am NOT in denial."
"Love Stinks" wasn't a particularly good movie, but I can't help thinking how close to reality it actually is. The woman chases the guy, beating him into submission and her only goal in life is to be married, all the while he is running for his life. Are we all bred that way? Men are brought up to want to 'play the field' and have fun and women just want to meet that one penguin and spend the rest of their lives popping out babies and worshipping their husbands?
That's sort-of the way I was raised. I was told to go to school, get an education and a good job.. be independent. But, with a subliminal message of "GET MARRIED!! GET MARRIED!!" Now, that I'm 27 and haven't really lived with immediate family (namely, mom) for a few years I notice something a little annoying: Whenever I have a boyfriend my family feels better. My mother doesn't call me as much, my grandmother doesn't worry as much. Now that I'm alone, I get phone calls from both parties 545657 times a day and my grandmother calls me crying about the latest rape victim she heard about on the ever-so-exaggerated hispanic news. What happened to get an education, be independent?? Now, I need a man in my life to take care of me? I need a man in my life so they feel I'm 'safe' and leave me alone?
Lately, my mother has gotten into the grandbaby kick, too. I have to give her a grandkid, married or not. And, if it isn't married, what then? Is the child destined to be more screwed up than normal? Are children of divorce that bad? I'm a child of divorce and I couldn't be more happy about that. Thinking about having had to live with my father for 18 years makes me cringe. Should people 'stay together for the kids?' Is 18 years of miserable unhappiness really worth the mental health of the child, when inevitably you will screw them up? You want the best for your child, but at what expense?
Take it from the poster child of divorce, it's not that bad. We'll get over it. It's better than watching you fight for 20 years, or resent each other for longer.
posted by gotbrains? at 10:32 PM
1 Comments:
well...i have always wanted the kid but never really the marriage. I would have taken the marriage if it would have came with THAT guy but you know how it is. ANYWAY, I don't think that there is anything wrong with consciously being a single parent. I think it's better than being married for the sake of the "fmaily". My mother has been married 5 times and what good did that do to me? probably none. If anything else, it made me believe that men are disposable objects. DO I wish that my mom would have stayed married to my dad? yes and no. Ideally, yes but like you say I would probably have turned out much worse had I been watching them ignore each other forever and ever.
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