What is in a man?
I feel like being self-centered today. I'm going to tell you about my idea for the perfect man. But, I'm not necessarily talking about physical aspects. Although, let's be honest, that is important. This is more personality traits.
1. First and foremost should be honesty, right? I have to have an honest man. Who doesn't? Who wants a liar? HOWEVER, there's a limit to the amount of honesty I require. I don't want you lying to me about where you've been/are going, but when I ask you if that 5'10" beanpole with huge tits walking down the street is prettier than me LIE YOUR ASS OFF. In this case I don't need the truth. Just make me feel better.
2. Patience is a virtue and definitely when you're dealing with me. I can be loud, emotional, dramatic, angry, and whiney, among many other things. HOWEVER, there is a good side, you just have to look for it, I guess?
3. It's the little things that count. When you send me flowers on Valentine's Day or my birthday that's awesome. But, it's that random "thinking of you" card that I get in the mail, for no reason at all, that is really sweet.
4. Got brains? You better. I cannot deal with stupidity. I need to be able to have an intelligent conversation with you and it must not ALWAYS revolve around sex. Yes, sex is awesome, but you have to be able to talk about something other than my "dick sucking lips" and large boobs.
5. Gay friendly? Better be. I cannot deal with homophobic men, either. There is a good chance that my first child (if I have one) will be a flaming queer (or a ghetto-thug), so you better be prepared to handle it. I'm a fag hag x 20000, so you better believe that uncle armando and auntie eric will be part of my life for a long time.
6. Lastly, a LITTLE bit of macho isn't too bad. You can be into sports, fixing cars, and mowing lawns. That's kinda hot. You also need to get A LITTLE jealous about stuff. I don't want you to go overboard and want to beat the shit out of every guy I look at, but some jealousy is kinda hot.
All this wrapped up with someone that looks like Chris Malone, with a stable job, decent car and home and you got yourself a deal. I'm not that picky, am I??
posted by gotbrains? at 10:55 AM
1 Comments:
Here's my take on your list:
1.) Honesty is a good thing to list, but men tend to be TOO honest, and women don't seem to handle it well. Most guys know that there's a time and a place to tell a white lie, but it's hard to predict where women want it to be. Your example of when should lie is too obvious, even an idiot like me knows that one, but when it comes to the gray area, most guys are clueless.
2.) I agree 100%, though I don't think one has to "look for" your good side.
3.) Most guys aren't like that. Well, they are... in the first 3-6 months of the relationship. After that, forget it.
4.) You want a smart guy? Then looks better be a distant second.
5.) I could be wrong, but in this day and age, especially in this city (Miami), I would think that most dudes are fine with gay people. I'm sure I'm wrong, but I don't think there's a lotta homophobia here. In the small towns, however, I have a feeling homophobia runs rampant.
6.) You want gay-friendly, smart, AND macho? Good luck.
Nah, you're not that picky. Hell, you were with me for three years (and another year sometime before that), and I fit only two (maybe three) of the things listed, so "picky" isn't in your vocabulary.
Good luck on your man quest!
:-)
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