E.T.?! That's a good one!!!

I have this co-worker. Let's call him Pat. That is his name, after all. Patrick is a salesman. He's one of those people that has to kiss everyone's ass, so they all think he's wonderful, then throws daggers at them behind their backs. He's also one of those annoying people that laugh ridiculously at the most inane jokes.. just to be a kiss ass.

Quite often Patrick says he'd kick ass on "Survivor" and I agree with him. He's got this good-guy act down really well. Everyone loves him and thinks he's the smartest thing since sliced bread, but he's actually quite useless. He's very good at networking and kissing the right butt. How do I do this? Unfortunately, because I wear my emotions on my sleeves, if I hate you, you will know it. I need to stop that. I need to start kissing more butt and laughing at more corny jokes. Why do I have to be so honest?

I'm currently working on my degree in Public Administration and I know I will get no where working for the government because, I'm not an ass kisser. And, when it comes to this county, it's not what you know, it's who's dick you suck. I can't lower myself to suck dick for a paycheck. Ok, that's being over-dramatic, I can't kiss-ass for a paycheck. It's just not in me. I guess I will always be an indian and never a chief, then. =(