The many stages of Yvette...
There are two kinds of people in this world: leaders and followers. I consider myself a leader. I don't do what I don't want to do (unless it's work-related, but that doesn't count). I don't give in to peer pressure, no matter how many comments my friends make about my non-alcoholism. And, I don't have a problem letting people in my life go, without a second thought, once I've determined they aren't good for me. Recently, one of Ana's blogs made me think about the past. I went to my family's place in Hialeah and picked up all my old pictures. Oh, good lord... I spent 2 nights going through TONS of pictures. Looking at all these pictures made me realize two things: (1) I've always been somewhat of a picture-obsessed, craft dork and (2) I used to be a follower. Everyone goes through stages in life, but I went through a lot of them!! I've switched music genres and clothing styles more times than I've changed my underwear. I was just into the same thing everyone else was into. I guess all teenagers, or most, are like that.. but, that makes me sad. It makes me sad to know that I didn't have much of a mind of my own. They say you are who you hang with and for me it was really true.
I started off into the rap/hip-hop thing, since I was born in North Bergen. Which, for you Floridians, is the Hialeah of NJ. After grade school I moved up in the world and ended up in a prissy, all-girl, Catholic high school where I was one of 5 hispanic girls in the whole school. Sophomore year was the year of the grunge movement. So, then I start sporting the flannel everything, Converse sneakers and start listening to the likes of Pearl Jam and Nirvana. This stage lasted until I moved to Florida, where the goth stage comes into play. I spent my first 4 years in Florida clad in black with way too much makeup and way too much silver jewelry. I still appreciate the "goth" thing and I love the clothes and like some of the music, but at almost 30, I've grown up. Or, is it that I've gotten old? A little of both, I guess. I couldn't imagine being a 30 year old goth-wannabe. If I saw that somewhere other than a club I'd laugh my ass off. It would just be sad.
As a parent, do you want to raise a leader or a follower? Everyone wants their children to fit in and not be made fun of, but how good is that if your child becomes too much of a follower and they start experimenting with drugs and alcohol because of it? Do you want a popular leader who treats others lower than them badly (which is inevitable), or do you want an outcast leader who marches to the beat of a different drum and gets made fun of? The outcast is their own person and doesn't fall into peer pressure, though.
If I ever have children I would want them to be unique and think for themselves, even if it's at the expense of being an "outcast." I want to raise a leader, not a follower. At the same time, I don't know how I could handle a jock/cheerleader child that is popular.. as an adult I realize how stupid it is to try so hard to be popular and fit in, but as a teenager that's all you want. In this day and age it's all about the right clothes and the right electronics (iPods and cell phones), but these material things shouldn't matter. I was brought up a spoiled kid. I took limos to all my school functions (proms, formals, etc) where most people get driven by mom or dad. I wore the best clothes, my mother never took me shopping anywhere other than Macy's or Bloomingdales. Most of the time I had money to go out or do what I want, allowances didn't exist to me. Now, as a 27 year old, I RARELY shop at Macy's or Bloomingdale's and the material things in life don't mean that much to me. I want to be comfortable, but I don't need a Prada purse or Gucci sunglasses to feel this. Is it that despite my never wanting for anything as a child my mother still managed to raise me right and keep me grounded, or is it that I just came into this realization on my own? If it was my mom, I'm gonna have to ask her how she did it.
I started off into the rap/hip-hop thing, since I was born in North Bergen. Which, for you Floridians, is the Hialeah of NJ. After grade school I moved up in the world and ended up in a prissy, all-girl, Catholic high school where I was one of 5 hispanic girls in the whole school. Sophomore year was the year of the grunge movement. So, then I start sporting the flannel everything, Converse sneakers and start listening to the likes of Pearl Jam and Nirvana. This stage lasted until I moved to Florida, where the goth stage comes into play. I spent my first 4 years in Florida clad in black with way too much makeup and way too much silver jewelry. I still appreciate the "goth" thing and I love the clothes and like some of the music, but at almost 30, I've grown up. Or, is it that I've gotten old? A little of both, I guess. I couldn't imagine being a 30 year old goth-wannabe. If I saw that somewhere other than a club I'd laugh my ass off. It would just be sad.
As a parent, do you want to raise a leader or a follower? Everyone wants their children to fit in and not be made fun of, but how good is that if your child becomes too much of a follower and they start experimenting with drugs and alcohol because of it? Do you want a popular leader who treats others lower than them badly (which is inevitable), or do you want an outcast leader who marches to the beat of a different drum and gets made fun of? The outcast is their own person and doesn't fall into peer pressure, though.
If I ever have children I would want them to be unique and think for themselves, even if it's at the expense of being an "outcast." I want to raise a leader, not a follower. At the same time, I don't know how I could handle a jock/cheerleader child that is popular.. as an adult I realize how stupid it is to try so hard to be popular and fit in, but as a teenager that's all you want. In this day and age it's all about the right clothes and the right electronics (iPods and cell phones), but these material things shouldn't matter. I was brought up a spoiled kid. I took limos to all my school functions (proms, formals, etc) where most people get driven by mom or dad. I wore the best clothes, my mother never took me shopping anywhere other than Macy's or Bloomingdales. Most of the time I had money to go out or do what I want, allowances didn't exist to me. Now, as a 27 year old, I RARELY shop at Macy's or Bloomingdale's and the material things in life don't mean that much to me. I want to be comfortable, but I don't need a Prada purse or Gucci sunglasses to feel this. Is it that despite my never wanting for anything as a child my mother still managed to raise me right and keep me grounded, or is it that I just came into this realization on my own? If it was my mom, I'm gonna have to ask her how she did it.
posted by gotbrains? at 7:15 PM
3 Comments:
after you discovered it, you really did like vinyl, didn't you?
I think it is possible to be a popular leader who doesn't treat those lower than them badly. It's all a matter of upbringing. I firmly believe tha if you teach your kids to be caring and compassionate they can be just that. After all, it really is better (and more permanent) to be respected than feared.
and quit saying you are 30...you are not..you still have a couple of years...and you are making me feel old, and for at least a few months, we'll be the same age next week :P QUIT IT!
wow you are bold to post those pics, Im emabarassed of all of mine...lol
When I was growing up I was my one person, never a leader but neither a follower. I had a small group of girlfriends I hung out with but we werent one of those mean clicks that made fun of everyone. To this day I've never been the type to fall under peer pressure, I'm too independent for that, if I want or feel like doing something aint no one on the face of this earth that will convince me otherwise.
I guess I'd like to raise my child in the middle of the two, never wanting them to be the leader that looks at others as less than them nor the child that wants to be liked by everyone and makes the dumb ass choices just to be popular. I just want them to be kind hearted, compassionate and smart is that too much to ask?
The "...and I got worse" pic is my favorite. You look exactly like your grandmother in that one!
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