The many stages of Yvette...
There are two kinds of people in this world: leaders and followers. I consider myself a leader. I don't do what I don't want to do (unless it's work-related, but that doesn't count). I don't give in to peer pressure, no matter how many comments my friends make about my non-alcoholism. And, I don't have a problem letting people in my life go, without a second thought, once I've determined they aren't good for me. Recently, one of Ana's blogs made me think about the past. I went to my family's place in Hialeah and picked up all my old pictures. Oh, good lord... I spent 2 nights going through TONS of pictures. Looking at all these pictures made me realize two things: (1) I've always been somewhat of a picture-obsessed, craft dork and (2) I used to be a follower. Everyone goes through stages in life, but I went through a lot of them!! I've switched music genres and clothing styles more times than I've changed my underwear. I was just into the same thing everyone else was into. I guess all teenagers, or most, are like that.. but, that makes me sad. It makes me sad to know that I didn't have much of a mind of my own. They say you are who you hang with and for me it was really true.
I started off into the rap/hip-hop thing, since I was born in North Bergen. Which, for you Floridians, is the Hialeah of NJ. After grade school I moved up in the world and ended up in a prissy, all-girl, Catholic high school where I was one of 5 hispanic girls in the whole school. Sophomore year was the year of the grunge movement. So, then I start sporting the flannel everything, Converse sneakers and start listening to the likes of Pearl Jam and Nirvana. This stage lasted until I moved to Florida, where the goth stage comes into play. I spent my first 4 years in Florida clad in black with way too much makeup and way too much silver jewelry. I still appreciate the "goth" thing and I love the clothes and like some of the music, but at almost 30, I've grown up. Or, is it that I've gotten old? A little of both, I guess. I couldn't imagine being a 30 year old goth-wannabe. If I saw that somewhere other than a club I'd laugh my ass off. It would just be sad.
As a parent, do you want to raise a leader or a follower? Everyone wants their children to fit in and not be made fun of, but how good is that if your child becomes too much of a follower and they start experimenting with drugs and alcohol because of it? Do you want a popular leader who treats others lower than them badly (which is inevitable), or do you want an outcast leader who marches to the beat of a different drum and gets made fun of? The outcast is their own person and doesn't fall into peer pressure, though.
If I ever have children I would want them to be unique and think for themselves, even if it's at the expense of being an "outcast." I want to raise a leader, not a follower. At the same time, I don't know how I could handle a jock/cheerleader child that is popular.. as an adult I realize how stupid it is to try so hard to be popular and fit in, but as a teenager that's all you want. In this day and age it's all about the right clothes and the right electronics (iPods and cell phones), but these material things shouldn't matter. I was brought up a spoiled kid. I took limos to all my school functions (proms, formals, etc) where most people get driven by mom or dad. I wore the best clothes, my mother never took me shopping anywhere other than Macy's or Bloomingdales. Most of the time I had money to go out or do what I want, allowances didn't exist to me. Now, as a 27 year old, I RARELY shop at Macy's or Bloomingdale's and the material things in life don't mean that much to me. I want to be comfortable, but I don't need a Prada purse or Gucci sunglasses to feel this. Is it that despite my never wanting for anything as a child my mother still managed to raise me right and keep me grounded, or is it that I just came into this realization on my own? If it was my mom, I'm gonna have to ask her how she did it.
I started off into the rap/hip-hop thing, since I was born in North Bergen. Which, for you Floridians, is the Hialeah of NJ. After grade school I moved up in the world and ended up in a prissy, all-girl, Catholic high school where I was one of 5 hispanic girls in the whole school. Sophomore year was the year of the grunge movement. So, then I start sporting the flannel everything, Converse sneakers and start listening to the likes of Pearl Jam and Nirvana. This stage lasted until I moved to Florida, where the goth stage comes into play. I spent my first 4 years in Florida clad in black with way too much makeup and way too much silver jewelry. I still appreciate the "goth" thing and I love the clothes and like some of the music, but at almost 30, I've grown up. Or, is it that I've gotten old? A little of both, I guess. I couldn't imagine being a 30 year old goth-wannabe. If I saw that somewhere other than a club I'd laugh my ass off. It would just be sad.
As a parent, do you want to raise a leader or a follower? Everyone wants their children to fit in and not be made fun of, but how good is that if your child becomes too much of a follower and they start experimenting with drugs and alcohol because of it? Do you want a popular leader who treats others lower than them badly (which is inevitable), or do you want an outcast leader who marches to the beat of a different drum and gets made fun of? The outcast is their own person and doesn't fall into peer pressure, though.
If I ever have children I would want them to be unique and think for themselves, even if it's at the expense of being an "outcast." I want to raise a leader, not a follower. At the same time, I don't know how I could handle a jock/cheerleader child that is popular.. as an adult I realize how stupid it is to try so hard to be popular and fit in, but as a teenager that's all you want. In this day and age it's all about the right clothes and the right electronics (iPods and cell phones), but these material things shouldn't matter. I was brought up a spoiled kid. I took limos to all my school functions (proms, formals, etc) where most people get driven by mom or dad. I wore the best clothes, my mother never took me shopping anywhere other than Macy's or Bloomingdales. Most of the time I had money to go out or do what I want, allowances didn't exist to me. Now, as a 27 year old, I RARELY shop at Macy's or Bloomingdale's and the material things in life don't mean that much to me. I want to be comfortable, but I don't need a Prada purse or Gucci sunglasses to feel this. Is it that despite my never wanting for anything as a child my mother still managed to raise me right and keep me grounded, or is it that I just came into this realization on my own? If it was my mom, I'm gonna have to ask her how she did it.
posted by gotbrains? at 7:15 PM
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